


Curing A Moment

by Nocturnal_Daydreams



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Hurt Caleb Widogast, Hurt/Comfort, Jester Lavorre Needs a Hug, Jester drinking, POV Jester Lavorre, Sad Jester Lavorre, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:40:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27236650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nocturnal_Daydreams/pseuds/Nocturnal_Daydreams
Summary: Jester is drinking alcohol, alone, on watch over a very squishy  and hurt wizard - giving her the freedom she doesn't really want to feel sad. If she starts crying will she never stop or will the help of another help her find her feet?It was written between 112-113 if fight had gone worse but honestly could be any time that fjord isn't captain on a boat (which honestly wish I could say he was everytime, we love Captain Tusktooth)
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast, widojest
Comments: 6
Kudos: 58





	Curing A Moment

Jester was drawing in her book for The Traveller…Artagnan. For want of a better word she was failing to draw, although maybe currently that was for the best. Her eyes dropped to Caleb – they had all fought well tonight but it had taken everything out of them. There wasn’t a spell left between them and Caleb had come out the worst of all, it had been a long time since she had seen him this bad.

The others were elsewhere, Fjord with the Captain of this ship, Caduceus and Nott playing cards with the remaining sailors and Beau and Yasha had disappeared to be alone somewhere. No one would be back for hours, she knew this without knowing the time or how anyone felt or anything. After the fight Caleb who was still the worst, had been so much worse before that, that the group had wanted to get away – Jester volunteering herself to keep by him, keep an eye on his health.

In the privacy of being the only conscious one she poured herself some wine, unsure even as she poured it out but her eyes flickered to Caleb laboured breathing, steady but requiring more effort than usual and brought the drink to her lips, taking a gulp of the rather bitter substance, finding a smidge of juice to put in it. She took another sip and found it suited her better but she still didn’t enjoy the taste. Despite everything there was no water in here and she was unwilling to be out of eye sight of Caleb for even a moment. She’d be fooling herself if she was thinking that was the reason she was drinking the wine now. She looked at the drink and back to Caleb and began to smile. She was sure he had been washed in worse. In fact, she was sure he had been washed in mud. Then remembered that was one of the things in the spa so couldn’t apply for her continuous jokes when he awoke. She decided she would tell Caleb and only Caleb that she drank tonight, she wasn’t sure why but she wanted it to just be between them.

She took one of a few handkerchiefs she had and dipped it into the wine before crawling forward, brushing his hair back to reveal the dried hair all over his face as well as she noticed some in his hair. That would have to be sorted when he woke but for now she rubbed the wine in the bigger clumps picking them up off his skin ready to brush off and using clean parts of her handkerchief to dab at fresh blood. It sunk into his pores and blood and wine got in there which seemed like its own problem to be solved another time. Caleb twitched his nose a little but he stayed asleep.

Even blood and marks all over him Caleb was undeniably beautiful as always but much more himself without the blood and marks, she thought back to rubbing off the mud in the rain when they had not long met and the smile lived soft on her lips. She could see why he had named himself that, an unassuming name that he walked himself into and etched a legacy into, as many of them had. He turned so he was on his back and she saw him fall during the fight in her minds eye. Her smile dropped to worry and she scooted back to the sketchpad and the wine, she took another sip, her eyes always on Caleb. They had nearly lost him today in his drive to do good wherever he went. He shivered a little and she shimmied out of her coat and put it on top of his coat and blanket. He had thrown himself too quick, too hard, too often and tonight was paying the price. Caleb is squishy and she had always worried about him but something tore different, he faced death far too close for her comfort before she and Caduceus had had to use their ability’s together to bring him back from the possibility. She had screamed and yelled she knew during this fight, everyone got far too close and at one point whether it was her mind playing tricks or a spell she couldn’t hear herself. That hadn’t been a welcome thought in a long time.

With each small reluctant sip of wine she turned her eyes to Caleb, checking on him.

She decided to recheck the sketchbook deciding on drawing them in the room, Caleb wrapped in coats when she looked down and saw the page she had opened to;

_**'Why didn’t you come?'** _

The initial time was done in worry and crying and hurt and had been all sharp edges, it had been wrote over, the same thing well over a dozen times. She had written over it whenever she looked at it and thought back of being those cages, her arms behind her back. Then she had used tree sap to glue it. It never kept stuck, just enough to pass a few weeks. She wrote over it once more, this time fancy and flowing, not angry, just sad. The wine cleared through the lump in her throat that had been chocking her with the need to cry and she saw why people drank alcohol. She still didn’t like it. She had a little of the juice on its own, not wanting to have too much of anything. She sighed and stared at the page like it would answer her.

So much had happened since, she had a father now, she knew the Traveller now so much more than before – knowing he probably had stayed with her and couldn’t have done much of anything. It didn’t make any of it hurt any less. Waking up feeling alone though The Traveller was with her and Fjord was beside her and Yasha across, humming songs to the traveller to save her and Fjord and Yasha and they would save everyone else. Crying and shouting and screaming from the cages in the cart. Hearing Molly, Caleb, Beau and Veth, then Nott. She knew so much suffering in the world of her loved ones, of her friends, of the loneliness of being invisible most of her life, of strangers who she would try and help and defend but nothing would quite haunt her like the invisibility coming true, her mask slipping as she sobbed and shouted out the cart and no one could find them. It had been Fjord’s biggest clue, she would zone out when she woke up from torture and then find her game and play along and make him feel better, make herself feel better. In that moment she forgot it all and pleaded to all the powers they be found…but they were carted away and Molly had died. No goodbye, no nothing. Even if Molly was back, they had still lost him, for the better part of a year there was a full stop. There was chance it still was. She felt the lump in her throat, the gag round her mouth and manacles on her hands and took another swig of wine, followed by another.

Alcohol was a natural depressant… it was safe to say she had finally given it a try and did not find the appeal at all.

She was naturally happy and bubbly, sometimes she used it to mask her other feelings but far from always. It wasn’t until the Mighty Nein turned from her friends to her family that she let the guard down and truly let them see who she was. She would always be defensively joyous but there was the safety net of knowing that these people supported her at her most upset, who didn’t rely on her to not make them feel bad, who wanted her honest. Hell, when Caleb told them what he had done in the Academy he had been surprised she hadn’t completely shamed and scorned him knowing what family meant to so much of them. Never wanted to see him again. She could never. Each piece slot itself into place and she knew as he said it that there was so much more. It had surprised her that it hadn’t been that action that caused his insanity. He had thought it was because of the love of the Lavorre’s which was in part but not integral, what had informed her conclusion was how much family seemed to mean to him and how he translated it to everyone else. But she didn’t know how to say this without tearing something at him he may not be able to heal yet. Still, it had been simple for her. She knew the Caleb she knew now and would never leave him.

Caleb, who tried to do right, who had been tortured, who had been test-planted with crystals and fake memories, who had gone mad, who had been homeless, who had been jailed and befriended a goblin girl, who had agreed to become a party with the maddest bunch of rebel rousers he knew, who still tried to do right, who had made a dome for them to keep them safe after they had found them, who had made a home they could keep with them, who waltzed with her and nearly slept in the mud because he was drunk and called her another girl’s name, who pretended to die on them twice so far and didn’t doubt another soon, who trusted her with the ridiculous amounts of money he gave to her, who thought she didn’t notice he watched her when her mother sang, who assured her it was okay to feel sad, who helped her set up the best TravellerCon ever, who had saved her tonight.

It wasn’t because she loved him that she would never leave him. She did. Truly, a small pebble gaining traction down a steep hill she had fallen for him, she had been realising for a while now. It was because she loved him that she hadn’t been hurt about him not telling her. Knowing him without loving him had been enough to know that all was not as cut out as it seemed and stand by him. Knowing him was enough to never leave him.

She looked from him to the page again and resolved to glue the page once more, she knew he had a vial of tree sap.

Crawling over she began checking the pockets until, “You know, Jester, if you wanted me alone you could just say.”

“Pssh, Cay-leb, we’re already alone. Now where is your tree sap?”

“That’s one word for it.” He finally elicited a giggle from her before glancing around, “So we are but I’m too tired I’m afraid Blueberry. Why tree sap?”

She didn’t answer and kept looking, not noticing she had began humming duel of the bumblebees causing him to laugh before deciding answering would be better.

“I need glue.” She didn’t explain anymore and her smile had faded.

He turned to face her and the wine and the sketchbook and fumbled in his trouser pocket before handing it to her, finally noticing that her coat was laying above him and opening his eyes properly. His eyes went back to hers.

“Jester…”

“Yes?”

“You know I…we would have gone to the ends of the earth to find you three, right?” He asked, she nodded. He licked his lips and added, “Jester, I need you to tell me you know.”

“I always know you’d come for me wherever I go, Caleb.” She answered, her voice light, her words heavy, “I was just scared then. It’s silly now. We know so much that’s happened. You’ve been through so much. We’ve seen it all over the world.”

“Jester, come here.” He said, propping himself up as much as he can. When she did he did the most surprising thing, he wrapped his arms around her in a comforting hug. Whispering, “I was scared then too. But you are okay. As am I. But it never was and never is silly. I…we… I nearly lost you. Never again, okay?”

The tears she had held back for so long, so scared if she cried she would never stop, fell freely and she nodded into his shoulder. He rubbed her back and hummed a little while to her, seeming to know to not allow the silence to echo her cries.

“I nearly lost you today, it was so scary. But you’re okay. So… I thought I would lose you when you told me when you were little, afraid if we saw every element of what made you you’d leave.” She calmed enough to say into the space by his neck as she picked non-existent fluff off his shirt.

“I will stay as long as you want me, Blueberry.” He combed his hand through her hair just the once but she felt the attention in the action.

“Never leave.” She answered, confident and he laughed a little in surprise to the answer, wondering how to respond. She continued, “Stay with me, always.”

“You’re sure I deserve the pleasure of your presence perpetually?” He murmured, showing his metaphorical hand in turn. If she didn’t know him as well she would have thought he was joking, but the smile behind the eyes, the hope…

“I’m sure. I’m sure the way you deserve to keep me with you always is to treat me well, be the best you I know you can be and to stay with me.”

“I’ll trust you, even though I smell wine on you.”

“It will be on you too I cleaned you up. But don’t. Don’t trust me yet. Wait until tomorrow and I will ask you again. Then you can trust me, if I’m lucky you might even ask to kiss me.”

“Now I know you’re drunk.”

“Oh, you’ll never know until you check, Mr Widogast.”

“I’ll keep it in mind, Madam Lavorre.” He said, falling asleep on her shoulder. Her legs got pins and needles and she nearly got up but he grumbled. With a smiled huff she picked him up and carried him to where she slept, curling themselves under the coats and resting his head on her shoulder as she glued the page and began drawing the sleeping Caleb on her shoulder. Succumbing to sleep herself not long after it’s where The Mighty Nein found and left them, Yasha flashing a knowing smile to Beau who looked at her in surprise.

Morning came, Jester assumed, in the cool cabin and she saw her family around her and her ginger wizard awake, reading spells but very obviously not far from her. She tapped his shoulder.

He looked round and he looked shocked, her heart flew and dropped, “Jester?”

“Caleb, what time is it?” She offered, waiting for him to get the other side of the game - he often did.

“9 am, blueberry.” The disappointment was poignant.

“No, no.” She rebutted, “It is time I ask you again. Never leave?”

He blinked a few times, slowly. To remind him he hadn’t spoke she tilted her head, awaiting his response. He blinked much faster, blush filling his face how she knew hers was more subtle but how it felt. Gaping a few times he finally nodded, “Yes, of course. I will stay by you to the ends of every world. …Were you joking about the kiss? It’s okay if you were. I’m just asking.”

“If you’re just asking, then ask.” She insisted. She known it had been scary but he had done the big scary bit now, all that was left to lay him down on the executioner’s block, like she had done thanks to the wine. Just a little more.

He gulped but there wasn’t the long pause like before, she always knew he was brave – he proved it often. Softly he asked, “Jester, may I kiss you?”

“Why, Cay-leb… Of course.” She smirked only to find his lips quickly finding hers. It was so different, a kiss freely given, no worry of life, how breathless the act made her and how the irony made her laugh. When she told him he gave an honest breathy laugh and looked like he may kiss her again but didn’t want to push when…  
“Finally.” Caduceus’s voice came from across the way, standing in the doorway for what only could be assumed as minutes, cluing them into how unalone they were right now, followed swiftly by a loud snore and a turn from Beau.

Quickly and quietly Caleb and Jester joined Caduceus at the door and through to the kitchen to start what would be a long conversation with more than just the three of them starting with;

“What do you mean finally?”


End file.
